one of my favorite musicians, Amos Lee, wrote this awesome song called Freedom....the back story i believe, goes like this: Amos Lee used to be a teacher, and he was having problems with some of his students fighting...so he was wrote the song about tryingto get them to see that basically, when ya break it down, fighting and hurting other people doesn't really make you feel better...and on a personal note, i wanna add that things and statuses and beliefs don't make one person better than the next. or just because you're strong enough to beat someone down doesn't make you better than them...so here's some of the lyrics-
"Don't wanna blame the rich for what they got
Don't point a finger at the poor for what they have not
Though the politician and the priest
Live in the belly of the beast because we fed it
Freedom is seldom found
By beating someone to the ground
Telling them how everything is gonna be now"
i think the man might be on to something.....
Friday, December 19, 2008
shout out loud
the people walking through the breakfast line at Midnight Mission have so much to be seen in their faces. what's superficial - dirt, glass eyes, mangled mouths, contorted kind smiles, bruises, scars, ugliness...then there's what's underneath - wisdom, fear, beauty, greed, abuse, sacrifice, addiction, confusion, warmth, evidence of grace, embarassment and gratitude. there's a roughness about these people that is difficult to describe without a tangible vision.
still, each of these emotions and attributes looked at individually seem easy enough to deal with. but for most of the people at the mission, one comes with another more twisted and hard to confront. they may each have that hardness about them that can only come from being so morbidly courageous and desperately weak, but they still have a story; one that is complex yet broken down to a simple theme -humanness. their stories bring some people to fear or hate, and others to tears and forward motion. but no matter what the outsiders looking in think, we cannot deny their humanity. setting religous beliefs aside, put away creation vs. evolution, people of the streets -dwelling in tents or sidewalks, under bridges or in shelters or cars....they are still validly human and deserve to be treated as such. just as much as you or i. but even more, for the Church, we ought to be believing that....no, living that.
last year my baby sister was treated with disrespect and unfairly ignored. no matter if she provoked the treatment, as a person she is worth being treated well. [the Beattitudes anyone?] random strangers, our closest friends or enemies....what separates us? more importantly, what makes us the same? what is the binding factor?
Saturday morning at Midnight Mission, it was undeniably obvious the similarities between all the people in the room. we all woke up early, we were all hungry and ready for breakfast, and we all were grateful for a warm place to be out of the rain for a moment...all simple human desires all felt by real people with basic needs.
i wonder sometimes why i care so much. why i am so passionately drawn to people who are lonely and desprate, ignored. i really don't know. but there is something deeply rooted in my being - i can feel it in my gut- that is like a magnet. pulling me to them, driving me to love them without reservations is this need to love...to recklessly abandon my other senses and just love. i'm probably crazy. but i am a lover and a fighter. and i will fight for broken people. for people without a voice, i love you. i believe in a good and perfect God for you. and i believe He is redeeming your story...and sometimes, He uses His people to do it....
still, each of these emotions and attributes looked at individually seem easy enough to deal with. but for most of the people at the mission, one comes with another more twisted and hard to confront. they may each have that hardness about them that can only come from being so morbidly courageous and desperately weak, but they still have a story; one that is complex yet broken down to a simple theme -humanness. their stories bring some people to fear or hate, and others to tears and forward motion. but no matter what the outsiders looking in think, we cannot deny their humanity. setting religous beliefs aside, put away creation vs. evolution, people of the streets -dwelling in tents or sidewalks, under bridges or in shelters or cars....they are still validly human and deserve to be treated as such. just as much as you or i. but even more, for the Church, we ought to be believing that....no, living that.
last year my baby sister was treated with disrespect and unfairly ignored. no matter if she provoked the treatment, as a person she is worth being treated well. [the Beattitudes anyone?] random strangers, our closest friends or enemies....what separates us? more importantly, what makes us the same? what is the binding factor?
Saturday morning at Midnight Mission, it was undeniably obvious the similarities between all the people in the room. we all woke up early, we were all hungry and ready for breakfast, and we all were grateful for a warm place to be out of the rain for a moment...all simple human desires all felt by real people with basic needs.
i wonder sometimes why i care so much. why i am so passionately drawn to people who are lonely and desprate, ignored. i really don't know. but there is something deeply rooted in my being - i can feel it in my gut- that is like a magnet. pulling me to them, driving me to love them without reservations is this need to love...to recklessly abandon my other senses and just love. i'm probably crazy. but i am a lover and a fighter. and i will fight for broken people. for people without a voice, i love you. i believe in a good and perfect God for you. and i believe He is redeeming your story...and sometimes, He uses His people to do it....
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
sure as i'm sittin here
dangit....i definitely just wrote a really long rockin post. aaaand then the INTERNET wouldn't work fast enough....blehhhh.
so probably i'm going to go find something to eat here at the good ol' houston airport. and then maybe i'll muster up the writing juices again to rewrite all of that.
dangit it was good too...;) haha.
so probably i'm going to go find something to eat here at the good ol' houston airport. and then maybe i'll muster up the writing juices again to rewrite all of that.
dangit it was good too...;) haha.
Monday, December 1, 2008
we.are.family
ahhhhh thanksgiving.
this special day of the year has long been a favorite of mine. probably because it meant getting away from school and work, just to relax and eat....a lot. :) but this year, it held special significance. because, this year was the first one on my own.....so when i walked down the makeshift road between Aunt Angie's and Gma Margie's to see my little sister Kristin running for me, my cup was flowing over. sure, i've spent months away from home before, but never with independence and adultliness (hahaha i'm well aware that this is not an actual word...but i just don't really know what word to use to describe this weird world of adulthood). so the look on my brother Peyton's face when he saw me climbing through the woods to hug him made the 3 day drive suddenly worth it. when i walked into Aunt Angie's kitchen and my dad turned around, my eyes were filled with tears and my heart filled with gratitude.
there's something really special about going home to my roots and seeing my big crazy family. each face, each hug and each smile took me by surprise and helped me to see the significance of this great love between us.
they each mean so much to me....and it's so important to me to make that journey down there every year.....i got to hear about Brandon's first year at UGA; to see Jordan still crazy about his high school sweetheart; watch Thomas, Caleb, Jordan, Dakota, Peyton, Cody, Tyler, and Bradley build their campsite in the middle of the gorgeous Georgia woods; laugh with Christiana, Kristin, Mandy, Brooklyn and Briana; hug Rebecca and Joanna a million times; read Bible stories to little Jackson; see Sam taking his ginormous dog Toby for a walk in the fog; giggle at Aunt Bo while she's giving directions; talk with Uncle Shane, Uncle Lane, Aunt Teresa, Uncle Tommy, Aunt Angie and Daddy about things that matter; hug my Papa and know that I love him anyway; sit with Grandma and hear about her buddy Jack and how much he loves her; laugh with Tyler and Josh about Jack's 3 bowls of peanuts for dessert....talk with Aunt Lisa and Caleb about prop 8, psychology and loving people; watch John and Ruth laugh at each other as fierce competetors and loving spouses; bounce on the trampoline with Jennifer and Jessica; solve the problems of the word's depressed teenagers with Bri; talk about nonsense with Bryan and Clark; kiss Kristin on the forhead enough the leave a mark; wait for Mom to call 15 times a day; laugh till my head hurts with Jaime, Dan, Jim, Harley and Hunter on the drive down; talk about my new life and what the Lord is doing in it with whoever will listen; watch Aaron and James playing soccer together in the dark; throwing citrus in the fire with Caroline and Jessica; remembering Uncle Mike with Ashley and Aunt Kealey.....alllllllll these things.
all these things make made my life more rich over the last week.
this special day of the year has long been a favorite of mine. probably because it meant getting away from school and work, just to relax and eat....a lot. :) but this year, it held special significance. because, this year was the first one on my own.....so when i walked down the makeshift road between Aunt Angie's and Gma Margie's to see my little sister Kristin running for me, my cup was flowing over. sure, i've spent months away from home before, but never with independence and adultliness (hahaha i'm well aware that this is not an actual word...but i just don't really know what word to use to describe this weird world of adulthood). so the look on my brother Peyton's face when he saw me climbing through the woods to hug him made the 3 day drive suddenly worth it. when i walked into Aunt Angie's kitchen and my dad turned around, my eyes were filled with tears and my heart filled with gratitude.
there's something really special about going home to my roots and seeing my big crazy family. each face, each hug and each smile took me by surprise and helped me to see the significance of this great love between us.
they each mean so much to me....and it's so important to me to make that journey down there every year.....i got to hear about Brandon's first year at UGA; to see Jordan still crazy about his high school sweetheart; watch Thomas, Caleb, Jordan, Dakota, Peyton, Cody, Tyler, and Bradley build their campsite in the middle of the gorgeous Georgia woods; laugh with Christiana, Kristin, Mandy, Brooklyn and Briana; hug Rebecca and Joanna a million times; read Bible stories to little Jackson; see Sam taking his ginormous dog Toby for a walk in the fog; giggle at Aunt Bo while she's giving directions; talk with Uncle Shane, Uncle Lane, Aunt Teresa, Uncle Tommy, Aunt Angie and Daddy about things that matter; hug my Papa and know that I love him anyway; sit with Grandma and hear about her buddy Jack and how much he loves her; laugh with Tyler and Josh about Jack's 3 bowls of peanuts for dessert....talk with Aunt Lisa and Caleb about prop 8, psychology and loving people; watch John and Ruth laugh at each other as fierce competetors and loving spouses; bounce on the trampoline with Jennifer and Jessica; solve the problems of the word's depressed teenagers with Bri; talk about nonsense with Bryan and Clark; kiss Kristin on the forhead enough the leave a mark; wait for Mom to call 15 times a day; laugh till my head hurts with Jaime, Dan, Jim, Harley and Hunter on the drive down; talk about my new life and what the Lord is doing in it with whoever will listen; watch Aaron and James playing soccer together in the dark; throwing citrus in the fire with Caroline and Jessica; remembering Uncle Mike with Ashley and Aunt Kealey.....alllllllll these things.
all these things make made my life more rich over the last week.
come together
the guys at work and i have been reading through this book, With Justice for All by.....John Perkins. it's essentially about community development and living out the Gospel of Christ in our immediate communities...and challenging the Body to live in the midst of the desloation of our country, not just to look at it from the outside, in. anyway, he's got some pretty powerful words and has really inspired me to be unafraid of the neighborhood that surrounds me and to look at my neighbors as simply human, like me.
what's really been intriguing for me though, is this idea that the Church has a call to the world. that we as the Church are called by Christ to work toward reconciliation and healing....we should not be relying on government or just good people. we are called as the Body to get our hands and feet dirty loving, feeding and clothing people. and we've got to turn our dreams and ideals into actual progress, sweat and hard work. for so long, i've been a dreamer....i mean that will never change, but i've only dreamed of ideas for reaching out to people and haven't really had any clue how to do it. and maybe i'll never know exactly the most practical, realistic way to do anything for God's children. but, i know that when i wake up in the morning, i'm gonna go unlock the gate and walk to the train station down the street....and i'm going to smile at people and talk to them.....and maybe the next day see the same people and eventually maybe i'll know someone well enough to invite them over for supper. and we'll share a meal together....ya know? it's just gotta start somewhere. anyway, the following quote is by Howard Snyder, and Perkins quotes him in the book.....i think he's got a point. read it through a couple times and really think about what that means for you personally. it's good stuff.
"Reconciliation with God must be demonstrated by genuine reconciliation within the Christian community and by a continuing ministry of reconciliation in the world. This means that in each local Christian assembly, reconciliation must be more than a theory and more than an invisible spiritual stransaction. Reconciliation must be real and visible. Racial and economic exploitation and all forms of elitism must be challenged biblically. Unholy divisions of the body of Christ must be seen as sin and worldliness."
what's really been intriguing for me though, is this idea that the Church has a call to the world. that we as the Church are called by Christ to work toward reconciliation and healing....we should not be relying on government or just good people. we are called as the Body to get our hands and feet dirty loving, feeding and clothing people. and we've got to turn our dreams and ideals into actual progress, sweat and hard work. for so long, i've been a dreamer....i mean that will never change, but i've only dreamed of ideas for reaching out to people and haven't really had any clue how to do it. and maybe i'll never know exactly the most practical, realistic way to do anything for God's children. but, i know that when i wake up in the morning, i'm gonna go unlock the gate and walk to the train station down the street....and i'm going to smile at people and talk to them.....and maybe the next day see the same people and eventually maybe i'll know someone well enough to invite them over for supper. and we'll share a meal together....ya know? it's just gotta start somewhere. anyway, the following quote is by Howard Snyder, and Perkins quotes him in the book.....i think he's got a point. read it through a couple times and really think about what that means for you personally. it's good stuff.
"Reconciliation with God must be demonstrated by genuine reconciliation within the Christian community and by a continuing ministry of reconciliation in the world. This means that in each local Christian assembly, reconciliation must be more than a theory and more than an invisible spiritual stransaction. Reconciliation must be real and visible. Racial and economic exploitation and all forms of elitism must be challenged biblically. Unholy divisions of the body of Christ must be seen as sin and worldliness."
feels like hope
so during our evening debriefs with the groups, we do this excercise.....i saw, i felt, i learned. and with my group from San Clemente a couple weeks ago, it went better than i ever could've dreamed. the students just really responded to the idea, and gave some incredible feedback. so here are the lovely Jenna's thoughts.....
"I saw...a woman excited from a bing prize....a man blessed by a smile...joy. contrast...love....a school with every kind of wall....a drug deal....Christ being the bridge....a park with the deepest congrast...a child's smile. a dumpster full of cardboard...beautiful people...work...a home. peace in the face of greed...a man with no home. a tent as a palace...brokenness....I felt...touched. pain...joy...privileged...the cold concrete...the thick air....the tenderness of a lonely heart...the tears of the people...unworthy of my wealth...ashamed....and a need of compassion....I learned...that brokenness looks like many things...a smile is God's compassion....the nonwealthy are worthy.....to forget myself....to focus on the things inside....to look past dirt, grime, poverty, cardboard, darkness and to see the light."
when Jenna read those words, my heart was moved beyond belief. it was like in that moment, the Lord was reaching into my soul and audibly saying, "Child, I have brought you here for this reason."
reading through their evaluations week after week, listening to their words of encouragement and affirmation, seeing their hearts transforming before my eyes...makes all this worth it. it redeems all the homesickness and loneliness that i've felt the last two months. knowing that Christ is doing a good work in and through me is more than i can ever ask for. and it's what has brought me to the decision to stay for a while longer....i've officially decided to stay for the spring term.....and then i guess we'll go from there :) thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
"I saw...a woman excited from a bing prize....a man blessed by a smile...joy. contrast...love....a school with every kind of wall....a drug deal....Christ being the bridge....a park with the deepest congrast...a child's smile. a dumpster full of cardboard...beautiful people...work...a home. peace in the face of greed...a man with no home. a tent as a palace...brokenness....I felt...touched. pain...joy...privileged...the cold concrete...the thick air....the tenderness of a lonely heart...the tears of the people...unworthy of my wealth...ashamed....and a need of compassion....I learned...that brokenness looks like many things...a smile is God's compassion....the nonwealthy are worthy.....to forget myself....to focus on the things inside....to look past dirt, grime, poverty, cardboard, darkness and to see the light."
when Jenna read those words, my heart was moved beyond belief. it was like in that moment, the Lord was reaching into my soul and audibly saying, "Child, I have brought you here for this reason."
reading through their evaluations week after week, listening to their words of encouragement and affirmation, seeing their hearts transforming before my eyes...makes all this worth it. it redeems all the homesickness and loneliness that i've felt the last two months. knowing that Christ is doing a good work in and through me is more than i can ever ask for. and it's what has brought me to the decision to stay for a while longer....i've officially decided to stay for the spring term.....and then i guess we'll go from there :) thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
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