thirteen

so just now i was randomly facebook-ing and ran across these pics of loads of Friends Church peeps making over Camp Quaker Haven. all these beautiful faces from memories past. people who i knew in Haviland as a kid; people who knew my parents in Haviland before i was even a kid; people i met once or twice in Mexico but left a lasting impression. all these connected Christ followers joined together for something as simple as making over an old camp...NOT that all that hard work was easy, not at all. i just mean that it's a fairly simple, beautiful idea. that the Body connected to follow through on....there's this one photo that shows everyone in worship....a small sea of Friends all led by a pastor from Mexico and his family. it seems that they made the trek to the bottom of Kansas to lend a hand to their brothers and sisters. people from all over....oh how i love common ground. a basic principle or idea that unites us. a task to spur us on. though i've not actually been to Quaker Haven in nearly 10 years, i carry some fond memories of my youth from there. and it's refreshing to see someone caring about its upkeep. the Lord's been using that place for years and it's so encouraging to think that He still has plans for it, and for the countless people who will drive over the hill to get there.

jeremiah

so. 1958 miles ago (give or take a hundred or so) i was in sunny Los Angeles...that's right, i drove from L.A. to Kansas to Houston in a matter of days. a lot of friends have asked why i suddenly moved across the country. again. and i'm just going to share some of my personal journal entries to shed a little light on the subject. but i should add that when i journal, it really is a way of communicating to the Lord what's on my heart, and on my mind. and also a way of talking out just what i'm feeling, as if i'm speaking to a particular person sometimes....haha does that make me a little crazy? ; ) ......so here's an entry from January 2007....

"do you ever get these longings? these deep achings of your soul that sound like the groanings of a gigantic ship that's sinking...right now my heart, my body, my mind, all of me is aching for Houston. that's where i want to be right now. if i could dream up any kind of fantastical tale tonight in my sleep, i'd dream i was in Houston. seeing Claude and his wife Jenny. smiling at James and telling him good-morning, looking at the joy on his face because i finally remembered his name : ) chit-chatting with Mr. Williams while i count the number of men eating supper at Harbor Light. holding little Zachary in my arms, telling him i'll be back soon. eating thai food with a bunch of hungry jr. highers, enticing them to drink the tea that tastes like barbeque...praying over the city, knowing that our loving God is listening. looking at the lights of the city from Eleanor Tinsley park....that one building with the crescent moon shape lit up on the west side.

i'm still not over that city. it breaks my heart i can't be there.

maybe i'll take your there; maybe we'll go there someday...soon. man i love that place. the green field in front of the water wall. we'll go there and lay down - looking upside down up at the buildings. and we'll hear the water in the background. and we'll hear kids laughing. and we'll forget for a moment about all the bad stuff going on in the middle. all we'll know is peace. contentment. joy. and you'll make me laugh. i'll breathe deep, soaking it all in. and then i'll tell you to cherish this. joy.

i imagine in heaven there's a green field like that only three hundred times bigger. and at the end, instead of a steel building, it's God. and we're all playing in that field, throwing frisbees, turning cartwheels, dancing, laughing and we get tired. and we tumble to the ground. and we're laying on the ground, looking up at God. we're absolutely in awe. like we were at the building, only this is way bigger than that. and we can talk to him and dazzle at his glory all the time. every day we can laugh and play in that field and look up at our very Big God and know He's it. that this is what we've been waiting for. this is what all those trials on earth were building up to. this is what towers in comparison to the joy we had on earth. and we won't cry for the hurting ones anymore. our hearts won't ache for what they can't have anymore; cuz they are truly content. completely and perfectly and incandescently happy. joy."

so you see, my soul has been longing for this opportunity for years. as i was driving into Houston on Sunday, i was listening to Andrew Petersen's song Canaan Bound...it's kind of about Abraham and Sarah and God leading them into Canaan. ironically enough, it's the same song that came on as i was pulling out of the housing site in L.A....it's kind of been a theme of my life these last few months. God leading me into the places He's prepared for me. and i'm struck again with the question, "why me? why am i getting what i asked for?" ....maybe eventually i'll learn something about the character of God and really find the answer. i probably already know, i just can't believe it. He's too good. that's probably not possible...since He's the inventer of good. the essense of it. anyway, maybe those words explain a little better this new chapter of my life. i really believe that the Lord has been preparing the way for this season for a long time....that He's had exactly this time and place in mind and maybe the Holy Spirit in me was speaking echoes of His own voice, leading me here.....

"call to me and i will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" jer. 33.3