dangit....i definitely just wrote a really long rockin post. aaaand then the INTERNET wouldn't work fast enough....blehhhh.
so probably i'm going to go find something to eat here at the good ol' houston airport. and then maybe i'll muster up the writing juices again to rewrite all of that.
dangit it was good too...;) haha.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
we.are.family
ahhhhh thanksgiving.
this special day of the year has long been a favorite of mine. probably because it meant getting away from school and work, just to relax and eat....a lot. :) but this year, it held special significance. because, this year was the first one on my own.....so when i walked down the makeshift road between Aunt Angie's and Gma Margie's to see my little sister Kristin running for me, my cup was flowing over. sure, i've spent months away from home before, but never with independence and adultliness (hahaha i'm well aware that this is not an actual word...but i just don't really know what word to use to describe this weird world of adulthood). so the look on my brother Peyton's face when he saw me climbing through the woods to hug him made the 3 day drive suddenly worth it. when i walked into Aunt Angie's kitchen and my dad turned around, my eyes were filled with tears and my heart filled with gratitude.
there's something really special about going home to my roots and seeing my big crazy family. each face, each hug and each smile took me by surprise and helped me to see the significance of this great love between us.
they each mean so much to me....and it's so important to me to make that journey down there every year.....i got to hear about Brandon's first year at UGA; to see Jordan still crazy about his high school sweetheart; watch Thomas, Caleb, Jordan, Dakota, Peyton, Cody, Tyler, and Bradley build their campsite in the middle of the gorgeous Georgia woods; laugh with Christiana, Kristin, Mandy, Brooklyn and Briana; hug Rebecca and Joanna a million times; read Bible stories to little Jackson; see Sam taking his ginormous dog Toby for a walk in the fog; giggle at Aunt Bo while she's giving directions; talk with Uncle Shane, Uncle Lane, Aunt Teresa, Uncle Tommy, Aunt Angie and Daddy about things that matter; hug my Papa and know that I love him anyway; sit with Grandma and hear about her buddy Jack and how much he loves her; laugh with Tyler and Josh about Jack's 3 bowls of peanuts for dessert....talk with Aunt Lisa and Caleb about prop 8, psychology and loving people; watch John and Ruth laugh at each other as fierce competetors and loving spouses; bounce on the trampoline with Jennifer and Jessica; solve the problems of the word's depressed teenagers with Bri; talk about nonsense with Bryan and Clark; kiss Kristin on the forhead enough the leave a mark; wait for Mom to call 15 times a day; laugh till my head hurts with Jaime, Dan, Jim, Harley and Hunter on the drive down; talk about my new life and what the Lord is doing in it with whoever will listen; watch Aaron and James playing soccer together in the dark; throwing citrus in the fire with Caroline and Jessica; remembering Uncle Mike with Ashley and Aunt Kealey.....alllllllll these things.
all these things make made my life more rich over the last week.
this special day of the year has long been a favorite of mine. probably because it meant getting away from school and work, just to relax and eat....a lot. :) but this year, it held special significance. because, this year was the first one on my own.....so when i walked down the makeshift road between Aunt Angie's and Gma Margie's to see my little sister Kristin running for me, my cup was flowing over. sure, i've spent months away from home before, but never with independence and adultliness (hahaha i'm well aware that this is not an actual word...but i just don't really know what word to use to describe this weird world of adulthood). so the look on my brother Peyton's face when he saw me climbing through the woods to hug him made the 3 day drive suddenly worth it. when i walked into Aunt Angie's kitchen and my dad turned around, my eyes were filled with tears and my heart filled with gratitude.
there's something really special about going home to my roots and seeing my big crazy family. each face, each hug and each smile took me by surprise and helped me to see the significance of this great love between us.
they each mean so much to me....and it's so important to me to make that journey down there every year.....i got to hear about Brandon's first year at UGA; to see Jordan still crazy about his high school sweetheart; watch Thomas, Caleb, Jordan, Dakota, Peyton, Cody, Tyler, and Bradley build their campsite in the middle of the gorgeous Georgia woods; laugh with Christiana, Kristin, Mandy, Brooklyn and Briana; hug Rebecca and Joanna a million times; read Bible stories to little Jackson; see Sam taking his ginormous dog Toby for a walk in the fog; giggle at Aunt Bo while she's giving directions; talk with Uncle Shane, Uncle Lane, Aunt Teresa, Uncle Tommy, Aunt Angie and Daddy about things that matter; hug my Papa and know that I love him anyway; sit with Grandma and hear about her buddy Jack and how much he loves her; laugh with Tyler and Josh about Jack's 3 bowls of peanuts for dessert....talk with Aunt Lisa and Caleb about prop 8, psychology and loving people; watch John and Ruth laugh at each other as fierce competetors and loving spouses; bounce on the trampoline with Jennifer and Jessica; solve the problems of the word's depressed teenagers with Bri; talk about nonsense with Bryan and Clark; kiss Kristin on the forhead enough the leave a mark; wait for Mom to call 15 times a day; laugh till my head hurts with Jaime, Dan, Jim, Harley and Hunter on the drive down; talk about my new life and what the Lord is doing in it with whoever will listen; watch Aaron and James playing soccer together in the dark; throwing citrus in the fire with Caroline and Jessica; remembering Uncle Mike with Ashley and Aunt Kealey.....alllllllll these things.
all these things make made my life more rich over the last week.
come together
the guys at work and i have been reading through this book, With Justice for All by.....John Perkins. it's essentially about community development and living out the Gospel of Christ in our immediate communities...and challenging the Body to live in the midst of the desloation of our country, not just to look at it from the outside, in. anyway, he's got some pretty powerful words and has really inspired me to be unafraid of the neighborhood that surrounds me and to look at my neighbors as simply human, like me.
what's really been intriguing for me though, is this idea that the Church has a call to the world. that we as the Church are called by Christ to work toward reconciliation and healing....we should not be relying on government or just good people. we are called as the Body to get our hands and feet dirty loving, feeding and clothing people. and we've got to turn our dreams and ideals into actual progress, sweat and hard work. for so long, i've been a dreamer....i mean that will never change, but i've only dreamed of ideas for reaching out to people and haven't really had any clue how to do it. and maybe i'll never know exactly the most practical, realistic way to do anything for God's children. but, i know that when i wake up in the morning, i'm gonna go unlock the gate and walk to the train station down the street....and i'm going to smile at people and talk to them.....and maybe the next day see the same people and eventually maybe i'll know someone well enough to invite them over for supper. and we'll share a meal together....ya know? it's just gotta start somewhere. anyway, the following quote is by Howard Snyder, and Perkins quotes him in the book.....i think he's got a point. read it through a couple times and really think about what that means for you personally. it's good stuff.
"Reconciliation with God must be demonstrated by genuine reconciliation within the Christian community and by a continuing ministry of reconciliation in the world. This means that in each local Christian assembly, reconciliation must be more than a theory and more than an invisible spiritual stransaction. Reconciliation must be real and visible. Racial and economic exploitation and all forms of elitism must be challenged biblically. Unholy divisions of the body of Christ must be seen as sin and worldliness."
what's really been intriguing for me though, is this idea that the Church has a call to the world. that we as the Church are called by Christ to work toward reconciliation and healing....we should not be relying on government or just good people. we are called as the Body to get our hands and feet dirty loving, feeding and clothing people. and we've got to turn our dreams and ideals into actual progress, sweat and hard work. for so long, i've been a dreamer....i mean that will never change, but i've only dreamed of ideas for reaching out to people and haven't really had any clue how to do it. and maybe i'll never know exactly the most practical, realistic way to do anything for God's children. but, i know that when i wake up in the morning, i'm gonna go unlock the gate and walk to the train station down the street....and i'm going to smile at people and talk to them.....and maybe the next day see the same people and eventually maybe i'll know someone well enough to invite them over for supper. and we'll share a meal together....ya know? it's just gotta start somewhere. anyway, the following quote is by Howard Snyder, and Perkins quotes him in the book.....i think he's got a point. read it through a couple times and really think about what that means for you personally. it's good stuff.
"Reconciliation with God must be demonstrated by genuine reconciliation within the Christian community and by a continuing ministry of reconciliation in the world. This means that in each local Christian assembly, reconciliation must be more than a theory and more than an invisible spiritual stransaction. Reconciliation must be real and visible. Racial and economic exploitation and all forms of elitism must be challenged biblically. Unholy divisions of the body of Christ must be seen as sin and worldliness."
feels like hope
so during our evening debriefs with the groups, we do this excercise.....i saw, i felt, i learned. and with my group from San Clemente a couple weeks ago, it went better than i ever could've dreamed. the students just really responded to the idea, and gave some incredible feedback. so here are the lovely Jenna's thoughts.....
"I saw...a woman excited from a bing prize....a man blessed by a smile...joy. contrast...love....a school with every kind of wall....a drug deal....Christ being the bridge....a park with the deepest congrast...a child's smile. a dumpster full of cardboard...beautiful people...work...a home. peace in the face of greed...a man with no home. a tent as a palace...brokenness....I felt...touched. pain...joy...privileged...the cold concrete...the thick air....the tenderness of a lonely heart...the tears of the people...unworthy of my wealth...ashamed....and a need of compassion....I learned...that brokenness looks like many things...a smile is God's compassion....the nonwealthy are worthy.....to forget myself....to focus on the things inside....to look past dirt, grime, poverty, cardboard, darkness and to see the light."
when Jenna read those words, my heart was moved beyond belief. it was like in that moment, the Lord was reaching into my soul and audibly saying, "Child, I have brought you here for this reason."
reading through their evaluations week after week, listening to their words of encouragement and affirmation, seeing their hearts transforming before my eyes...makes all this worth it. it redeems all the homesickness and loneliness that i've felt the last two months. knowing that Christ is doing a good work in and through me is more than i can ever ask for. and it's what has brought me to the decision to stay for a while longer....i've officially decided to stay for the spring term.....and then i guess we'll go from there :) thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
"I saw...a woman excited from a bing prize....a man blessed by a smile...joy. contrast...love....a school with every kind of wall....a drug deal....Christ being the bridge....a park with the deepest congrast...a child's smile. a dumpster full of cardboard...beautiful people...work...a home. peace in the face of greed...a man with no home. a tent as a palace...brokenness....I felt...touched. pain...joy...privileged...the cold concrete...the thick air....the tenderness of a lonely heart...the tears of the people...unworthy of my wealth...ashamed....and a need of compassion....I learned...that brokenness looks like many things...a smile is God's compassion....the nonwealthy are worthy.....to forget myself....to focus on the things inside....to look past dirt, grime, poverty, cardboard, darkness and to see the light."
when Jenna read those words, my heart was moved beyond belief. it was like in that moment, the Lord was reaching into my soul and audibly saying, "Child, I have brought you here for this reason."
reading through their evaluations week after week, listening to their words of encouragement and affirmation, seeing their hearts transforming before my eyes...makes all this worth it. it redeems all the homesickness and loneliness that i've felt the last two months. knowing that Christ is doing a good work in and through me is more than i can ever ask for. and it's what has brought me to the decision to stay for a while longer....i've officially decided to stay for the spring term.....and then i guess we'll go from there :) thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
23
i would just like to take a moment to thank my wonderful parents, Mark and Lori, for being incredible. and for loving each other so much that it poured out into and over the four of us. you've been the most supportive and loving people i could've asked to raise me. you taught me discipline, honesty, integrity, perseverance, joy, how to poop in the woods, how to love my siblings more, how to be stubborn -or just really determined, and how to be a leader. mom, thanks for suffering through those excrutiating 46 hours of labor, and daddy, thanks for holding her holding her hand. and then, thanks for doing it all over again three more times; i have the best brother and sisters in the world.
i owe you a lot. i mean really, a looooooooot. so thank you. espcecially for my college education and experience. it's in large part because of you. and thanks for being so wonderful about letting me make decisions, even when they're bad and even when they're hard. THANK YOU for supporting me in this new season and adventure that the Lord has led me to here in LA. thanks for raising me in the church, and for asking tough questions and giving tough answers. i'm a better thinker because of it. and i love Christ more for it too. anyway, it may be my birthday in an hour and 20 minutes, but the celebration is for you too. 23 years with children, congratulations guys :)
with love and respect,
britani leah
i owe you a lot. i mean really, a looooooooot. so thank you. espcecially for my college education and experience. it's in large part because of you. and thanks for being so wonderful about letting me make decisions, even when they're bad and even when they're hard. THANK YOU for supporting me in this new season and adventure that the Lord has led me to here in LA. thanks for raising me in the church, and for asking tough questions and giving tough answers. i'm a better thinker because of it. and i love Christ more for it too. anyway, it may be my birthday in an hour and 20 minutes, but the celebration is for you too. 23 years with children, congratulations guys :)
with love and respect,
britani leah
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Center for Student Missions
soooo my lovely friend, Ellen, brought it to my attention that i have yet to actually say on here what i'm doing.......aaaaand i haven't actually read back through my posts to see if she's right. maybe because i'm a little wordy ;)
anyway, here's the down low on CSM, Los Angeles.
i am currently, the fall "host" for CSM LA. what does that mean...well, mostly on the weekends in the fall (more week-long for spring and summer) i host youth groups and college groups of students who are coming to the city for a mission trip of sorts. i'm the facilitator and liason between the groups and the places we serve. for example, last weekend, i hosted a lovely group of 15 high schoolers from Bakersfield, CA. after they came in on friday evening, i took them to supper -or dinner as californians say- at Honduras Kitchen and then we went on the Prayer Tour. [LA's prayer tour is anywhere from 2-3 hours long, and it's essentially a driving tour of the city. we get out and stop at several key spots of different areas and discuss some of the issues as they apply. all the while, we pray for whatever it is we see, and we look for ways that the Lord is in the city working.] at the end of each day, we debrief and kind of process through what we've seen, heard and experienced. let me just say that debriefs are often my favorite treasures of these trips. some of these kids are absolutely brilliant. some are broken and the Lord restores them in front of my eyes...for some, a dissonant chord is struck in their hearts and they leave passionate about something new.
after that first day, we typically serve at two different places each day, followed by supper at an ethnic place and debriefing again. my bakersfield group served at Los Angeles Regional Food Bank in the morning and then we split into two groups for the afternoon. my half of the group did a Meet-a-Need which is something that may be unique to LA? not really sure, but they don't do it in H-town. anyhow, the students go through a designated downtown area, trying to meet someone, learn their story and meet a particular need. we try to stress creativity :) after that, we served at Sharon Care which is a convelescent home. usually at places like this, we play the world renowned game of BINGO. buuut flexibility is key with CSM, so the group was AMAZING and just spent a couple hours getting to know the people livin there, and also went through the rooms "caroling". pretty sweet stuff :) you never, never know how much a song or a smile or a handshake means to someone else. sooooooo after that, we had supper at Zankou chicken; armenian food = bliss. that's all i have to say about that. love it :)
sunday mornings, we typically go to a culturally diverse worship service...and that's essentially a weekend in the life of Britani :) week long trips are my fave, because i really do love hosting. buuut those kids from bakersfield changed my mind about weekend groups. they encouraged and affirmed me more than they will ever know.
it's easy to doubt the good things that the Lord gives us....who knows why. but He used those students to remind me that i'm here for a reason, and that He's gifted me perfectly for this particular job.
thanks for your love and support. and prayer of course. it honestly has been harder than i expected, but better than i expected too. i'm finally getting settled and makin friends and connections. and i'm challenged to be more bold every day. i know, who would think it would be hard for me to talk to strangers........welllllll california is COMPLETELY different than kansas. but i'm getting better. God's still good and He's still taking care of me.
okayyyyyyy i know it's gettin really long now, BUT. the beach. wow. incredible. the ocean is blue here. who knew? ;) and the wavesssssssss. man those waves rock. and the sand. k well i love all of it.
also. I LOVE VISITORS. so iffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff i happen to decide to stay for longer than december, please PLEASE somebody come visit me for the love of Peter. i would love to share this new adventure with anyone who wants to see :)
anyway, here's the down low on CSM, Los Angeles.
i am currently, the fall "host" for CSM LA. what does that mean...well, mostly on the weekends in the fall (more week-long for spring and summer) i host youth groups and college groups of students who are coming to the city for a mission trip of sorts. i'm the facilitator and liason between the groups and the places we serve. for example, last weekend, i hosted a lovely group of 15 high schoolers from Bakersfield, CA. after they came in on friday evening, i took them to supper -or dinner as californians say- at Honduras Kitchen and then we went on the Prayer Tour. [LA's prayer tour is anywhere from 2-3 hours long, and it's essentially a driving tour of the city. we get out and stop at several key spots of different areas and discuss some of the issues as they apply. all the while, we pray for whatever it is we see, and we look for ways that the Lord is in the city working.] at the end of each day, we debrief and kind of process through what we've seen, heard and experienced. let me just say that debriefs are often my favorite treasures of these trips. some of these kids are absolutely brilliant. some are broken and the Lord restores them in front of my eyes...for some, a dissonant chord is struck in their hearts and they leave passionate about something new.
after that first day, we typically serve at two different places each day, followed by supper at an ethnic place and debriefing again. my bakersfield group served at Los Angeles Regional Food Bank in the morning and then we split into two groups for the afternoon. my half of the group did a Meet-a-Need which is something that may be unique to LA? not really sure, but they don't do it in H-town. anyhow, the students go through a designated downtown area, trying to meet someone, learn their story and meet a particular need. we try to stress creativity :) after that, we served at Sharon Care which is a convelescent home. usually at places like this, we play the world renowned game of BINGO. buuut flexibility is key with CSM, so the group was AMAZING and just spent a couple hours getting to know the people livin there, and also went through the rooms "caroling". pretty sweet stuff :) you never, never know how much a song or a smile or a handshake means to someone else. sooooooo after that, we had supper at Zankou chicken; armenian food = bliss. that's all i have to say about that. love it :)
sunday mornings, we typically go to a culturally diverse worship service...and that's essentially a weekend in the life of Britani :) week long trips are my fave, because i really do love hosting. buuut those kids from bakersfield changed my mind about weekend groups. they encouraged and affirmed me more than they will ever know.
it's easy to doubt the good things that the Lord gives us....who knows why. but He used those students to remind me that i'm here for a reason, and that He's gifted me perfectly for this particular job.
thanks for your love and support. and prayer of course. it honestly has been harder than i expected, but better than i expected too. i'm finally getting settled and makin friends and connections. and i'm challenged to be more bold every day. i know, who would think it would be hard for me to talk to strangers........welllllll california is COMPLETELY different than kansas. but i'm getting better. God's still good and He's still taking care of me.
okayyyyyyy i know it's gettin really long now, BUT. the beach. wow. incredible. the ocean is blue here. who knew? ;) and the wavesssssssss. man those waves rock. and the sand. k well i love all of it.
also. I LOVE VISITORS. so iffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff i happen to decide to stay for longer than december, please PLEASE somebody come visit me for the love of Peter. i would love to share this new adventure with anyone who wants to see :)
at the end of the day you're another day older.
so the other day, i was listening to one of my favorite musicals, Les Misérables....nearly every single time i listen to it, the lyrics and the movement of the music moves me to tears. yeaaaaa sure i am an emotional wonder, but still. anyway, one of the underlying themes of the story is that a group of poor or working class {of frace} band together. they're fighting and dying for one another, working to end opression and gain social justice. they inspire and empower themselves to fight for a change that they believe in.
i wish i had that courage, that motivation to really make a difference. i'm not talking about killing people obviously, but just about being radical enough to inspire someone -namely myself- to want to do something about this sick and broken world we live in. and do to it together. we can't be divided to function properly.
the body of Christ is made up of unique parts and each member must work with the rest. there are a million things that we disagree on, but there is common ground that's worth standing up for. the Kingdom of God is here and now. we are His children, called to love God and neighbor. now each of us will live that out in a different way, some will be mothers, some will be teachers, doctors, architects, artists, event planners, construction workers, missionaries, pastors, lawyers, general managers and pianists. we all have something different that we DO but we all have a similar thing that we ARE. soooooooo we should act like it. and as my man michael jackson says, "i'm starting with the man in the mirror". or woman.
i wish i had that courage, that motivation to really make a difference. i'm not talking about killing people obviously, but just about being radical enough to inspire someone -namely myself- to want to do something about this sick and broken world we live in. and do to it together. we can't be divided to function properly.
the body of Christ is made up of unique parts and each member must work with the rest. there are a million things that we disagree on, but there is common ground that's worth standing up for. the Kingdom of God is here and now. we are His children, called to love God and neighbor. now each of us will live that out in a different way, some will be mothers, some will be teachers, doctors, architects, artists, event planners, construction workers, missionaries, pastors, lawyers, general managers and pianists. we all have something different that we DO but we all have a similar thing that we ARE. soooooooo we should act like it. and as my man michael jackson says, "i'm starting with the man in the mirror". or woman.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)